Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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