rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
