If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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