Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
