He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
