My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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