I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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