Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
