i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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