I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
