I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
