i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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