I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
