that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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