i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize