4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so explain again why im purple
no
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
