From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize