I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
