hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
