Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
