Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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