You work out of a Hotel?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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