the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
