I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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