I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
