Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
