You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
