I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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