i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
