Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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