Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
