So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
