They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
