Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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