I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize