Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
