She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
