i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
