he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize