WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
