we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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