Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
