i permit you to call me
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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