sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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