That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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