i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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