We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
