just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
