I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize