last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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