I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize