booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
