Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
