Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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