Dual....:-)
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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