She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize