singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
