no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
