i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
