You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
