my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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