Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize