Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize