Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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