well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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