hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Pants are for mortals
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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