I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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