you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
