it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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