I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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