i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize