So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
