I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
