I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
